One Night in Suna
by the-hippie-whittlers
Summary: Total crack inspired by my vacation. It seems as though Gaara has found a rather annoying hobby... I really wasn't thinking when I wrote this.
1. The Story

PEACE IN SUNAGAKURE

It was a peaceful night in the desert town of sunagakure. All was quiet throughout the streets, and the happy citizens had all hit the hay, and were all snoozing peacefully, snug in their little futons.

Yes, there was a very quiet and peaceful atmosphere in suna, tonight. The kazekage building was no exception.

Baki, who was also sound asleep in his futon, was having a most wonderful dream. In this amazing vision of his, Gaara had given up his current position of kazekage, and had just officially given the title to him. He was standing atop the kazekage building, in kazekage robes, while waving down at his new 'subjects' if you will. Gaara was now dressed in what appeared to be a very poorly made cosplay shukaku suit, and was about to leave suna forever when...

Baki's eyes blinked open in a flash.' oh, well...i can dream, can't I?' he thought as he sat up and looked around the room for any sign of the darn thing that woke him from his fantasy.

upon closer inspection of his surroundings, he had noticed a faint, but constant sound that poked his ears. it sounded like: "crrreeeeeaakk...THUNK...crrreeeeeaakk...THUNK."

another sound accompanied the first one. This one was much softer, but it sounded like: "shhh...shhh...shhh...shhh."

That was his culprit! that was the despicable thing that woke him from the best dream he had had in months! 'That infernal noise must be found, stopped, and reprimanded as soon as possible!' he cried in his mind.

He jumped out of bed and quickly pulled the covers off of him. Why in that order, I do not know. Being a ninja for many years will do that to you.

He quickly walked out the door and down the hallways and corridors, straining his ears to find the source of the, quote, 'evil, dream-ruining sound.'

As he walked down the main hall of the kazekage building, he just passed kazekage-sama's office, when he sopped short and back-stepped a few paces. With a very questioning look on his face, he held up his ear to the large wooden doors, and, much to his surprise, the sound WAS coming from kazekage-sama's office!

he carefully pushed open the door, inch by inch, and prepared himself for an attack. Then, in one quick motion, he pushed open the door, and flipped in the light switch. When he did, he saw something very disturbing,...

Gaara? Speak of the devil. Or in this case, dream. But wait! There's more!

Gaara wasn't just there. The current kazekage was sitting in an old oak rocking chair, and the rock had immediately stopped once Baki had entered the room.

But by far, the most disturbingly horrible part of this was the fact that Gaara was holding a pocketknife! But it gets worse! No, he wasn't using this trusty pocket weapon to commit homicide. Oh, no. It was much, much worse. There, in his other hand, he saw...

A wooden BUNNY...that he had been WHITTLING. (**A/N:** like, u know, carving little things out of wood with a small knife. It's called a dictionary, people. Please.)

"Konichiwa, Baki-san." Gaara stated in a monotone voice, and with unchanged expression as he returned to his work.

Baki decided not to comment for two reasons.

One, his brain had a hard time taking in all the things he had seen in the past ten seconds, and two, Gaara had a pocketknife at his disposal.

He was about to go back to his room and use chakara to induce sleep after the traumatizing incident, when he heard a fury of footsteps accompanied by a loud screech coming down the hall.

"GAARA!" He heard an enraged Temari yell as she ran into the doorway.

The image of the angry Temari would be forever filed into the 'shamelessly disturbing' section of his memory.

Temari had on what had to be the ugliest pair of pajamas he had ever seen in his life. Wait... were they DISNEY PRINCESS pajamas? Yep...definitely in the 'shamelessly disturbing' section. On top of this, she had on a facial mask, and her hair looked like it had been shoved into the lair of some enraged beast, and then shoved into a blender.

Combined with the smoldering death glare she gave her adopted little brother, she looked kind of like an angry cat that had been put in the bathtub with a hairdryer. Baki was afraid. He was very, VERY afraid.

Temari continued. "JUST WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Gaara just sat there with an unchanged expression.

"I WAS getting my 11 hours of BEAUTY SLEEP when SOMETHING woke me up! Now my whole sleep pattern will be RUINED! Now tell me what you were doing, or so help me I will KILL YOU. Kazekage or not, I NEED AN ANSWER! AND IT BETTER BE A GOOD ONE!" Temari had been executing threatening gestures, and had been getting closer and closer to the kazekage throughout this little outburst, but Gaara had sat there, apparently unfazed by her tantrum.

A long pause was in effect. By now, there were a few dogs barking throughout suna, some babies crying here and there, but other wise the peace remained.

Gaara, apparently contemplating the question turned to his sister, and in a voice nonchalantly calm he stated clearly, "Whittling"

Temari looked like she would explode like those illegal fireworks you bought from the crazy looking hobo on the side of the highway when you couldn't find any other place that would sell them to you.

She took a deep breath in. "NANI? You woke me up...because you...were...WHITTLING!" her face and Gaara's were only a few inches apart now, but his expression remained steadfast.

There was another long pause, and for Baki, it was like waiting for those illegal fireworks from the roadside hobo to explode. And explode they did.

Temari was apparently not satisfied by her brother's calm state. She demanded tears, and emotional scarring. And she wanted it NOW.

So she did what any respectable ninja would do. She resorted to violence.

"GIMME THAT!" She cried as she snatched the little wooden bunny from the kazekage. After violently ripping his artwork away from his hands, she snapped the delicate bunny in two.

Gaara, the all powerful kazekage, jinshuriki to the great shukaku, was SAD. His resolve faded fast. He was, much to Temari's pleasure, unbelievably hurt.

Gaara started whimpering ever so softly, while looking up pathetically at Temari. -sniff- "B-B-Bunny?" Gaara managed to stutter out, in a frightened, little girl type voice.

His eyes turned into large, anime-style orbs of tears, and then those tears started streaming down his face, anime style.

Satisfied with her work, she grabbed the pocketknife from his hands, and ripped out the rocking chair from under him. She quickly chopped the chair in half, and stormed out of the room.

Baki, with a look of confusion plastered on his face, turned around slowly and walked through the doorway, contemplating the events that had just transpired. It was clear that he should consider a career change. Things like that happening on a daily basis couldn't be good for his mental health. With eyes still wide, he walked into his room and laid down on his futon without much change in expression at all. He slowly pulled the covers over him, closed his eyes, and slipped into a dreamless sleep. Just the way he liked it.

This was peace enough for him.


	2. The Making of

The Making Of-

When I was on vacation to some strange camp-like place, with no TV, my dad was totally committed to 'roughing it' There was only one good bathroom in this 'hotel' and it was in the middle of a bunch of other small cabins in the woods. The rooms looked like log cabins, too. So, there were screens in the windows since it was summer, and I hated all the light. I put up this tie-dyed blanket from Hawaii up to block the light. It had flowers. Everyone went to eat at a little dining hall like at camp, and when we went, people were talking about some hippies that had hug up tie-dyed drapes in their windows. We were those hippies. What was even more hysterical/humiliating was that my dad noticed that there were a lot of sticks in the forest, (No Duh) so he took a small pocket knife everywhere, and whittled everywhere. Even in the dining hall. It was humiliating. Everyone thought my dad was some kind of hillbilly or something. So we became the Hippie Whittlers. That is how this fan fiction thing was named.

THE END


End file.
